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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322940">Alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpiePair/pseuds/MagpiePair'>MagpiePair</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Childhood Sexual Abuse, Copious use of the word brothers, Crying, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nightmares, Oh Sehun-centric, POV Oh Sehun, Past Sexual Abuse, Phobias, Please read the tags this could be very triggering, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:08:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322940</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpiePair/pseuds/MagpiePair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The hyungs find out why Sehun is afraid to sleep alone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun &amp; Oh Sehun, Do Kyungsoo | D.O &amp; Oh Sehun &amp; Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae | Chen &amp; Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin | Kai &amp; Oh Sehun, Kim Junmyeon | Suho &amp; Oh Sehun, Kim Minseok | Xiumin &amp; Oh Sehun, Oh Sehun &amp; Everyone, Oh Sehun &amp; Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun &amp; Zhang Yi Xing | Lay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please read the tags, this could be very triggering!</p>
<p>A story about the members finding out why Sehun is so scared to sleep alone and comforting him.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All is quiet in the band’s dorm room for once in the last thousand years, and Sehun can’t even enjoy it.</p>
<p>He looks to his injured leg with disdain, then to the blinking numbers on the digital clock staring back at him as if to mock him. The light blares out 1:15 AM. Sehun turns his gaze away to the wall, blinking his bleary eyes as he fights sleep. He can do this. He’s sure they will all be back from dance practice soon.</p>
<p>When confined to their dorm for the night due to his woefully wounded ankle, Sehun had not dwelled too much on it. He figured he would spend his time playing phone games or video calling his mom to get some face time with Vivi. This had entertained him for a while, yet now as the hours stretch into the late night, he begins to worry not for the first time if he will fall asleep before the others return.</p>
<p>Sehun is terrified to sleep alone. He hasn’t had to face this particular fear in quite a while, and he is not itching to do so tonight either. And so he has set himself up in the brightly lit living room on the couch, mindlessly challenging another level of the Superstar rhythm game to keep his brain awake. However, their exhausting schedules as of late wear him down, and against his will, he feels his eyelids grow heavier. His last thought before he succumbs to slumber is, ‘This is gonna suck…’</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>The eight remaining members of EXO tumble through the dorm’s front door somewhere around 1:45 AM. The sweaty bunch hardly contain the noise level as they stumble in, Baekhyun in particular sighing loudly and Chanyeol groaning not long after in complaint. Their sore bodies scream out for some rest after the tiring hours of grueling dance.</p>
<p>Despite their energetic entrance, the figure on the couch does not stir. Junmyeon looks to their maknae sleeping on the sofa with fondness. His smile soon drops, however, when he gets a better look at the other’s face. “Sehun?” he calls out quietly.</p>
<p>Sehun’s eyebrows furrow together even deeper, his face turning paler by the minute. The rest of the members gather around in time to see Sehun grow more and more distressed. He begins to thrash about on the small couch, uttering sudden and pained cries. Finally, tears spill over from his tightly shut eyes. This is enough for his brothers to jump into action, and Kyungsoo quickly places his hands on Sehun’s shoulders and begins to shake him. “Sehun! Wake up!”</p>
<p>It takes a moment, but Sehun’s body does respond to Kyungsoo’s manhandling. He jolts awake- but his mind still seems far away, if his petrified expression is any indication. He is shaking, and when Jongin moves to place a hand on his arm, he flinches away. He murmurs something then, and only when they all lean in do they hear a broken, “Please don’t come any closer…”</p>
<p>The members exchange looks then, confused and heartbroken in equal measure to see how anxious and upset Sehun is. Looking back to the frightened boy whose form is still shaking like a leaf, Yixing whispers, as if afraid to break the quiet, “Maybe we should give him some space.”</p>
<p>The rest agree reluctantly, although they refuse to leave Sehun’s side. Perched in an awkward huddle by the couch (but not too close to their maknae), they wait for him to calm himself down. His obvious pain hurts each of them as they sit helplessly.</p>
<p>“…Sorry about that,” Sehun speaks finally. His eyes are no longer distant, although he still looks ready to bolt at any moment. He wipes fruitlessly at the wet trails on his cheeks, although the tears continue to leak slowly from his eyes.</p>
<p>  “Sehun, are you… okay?” Jongdae asks, for lack of a better question.</p>
<p>Minseok follows up, “Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>His gentle probing seems to help put Sehun at ease, yet when he responds, it is with a simple shake of his head.</p>
<p>“It might help,” Chanyeol offers. His gaze is steady on Sehun as if hoping to communicate as much support as possible with a simple look. “When I have nightmares, I find sometimes I can’t get them off my mind until I share them with someone else.”</p>
<p>Sehun clenches his jaw. “It’s nothing. I always get nightmares when I sleep alone.”</p>
<p>Sehun’s statement, intended to disarm, only worries the others further. They think of the handful of times when Sehun sleeping alone had been unavoidable and wonder if he had had to face similar pains alone then. They had each known of Sehun’s fear of sleeping alone, of course, but they hadn’t truly known the extent.</p>
<p>Baekhyun and Jongin seem to have similar lines of thought as they cautiously approach Sehun from either side. This time, he does not retreat from their touch. Baekhyun rubs Sehun’s arms up and down in a constant rhythm, while Jongin leans into his side. Sehun leans against him in turn.</p>
<p> Kyungsoo and Junmyeon seem to be having a conversation with their eyes, until finally the latter speaks. As gently as possible, he asks, “Have you ever seen a therapist for this?”</p>
<p>“No! No therapist…” Sehun shouts. He seems to surprise even himself with the outburst, and by the end of it, his voice is petering out in almost a whimper. The sympathy in everyone’s expressions only deepens.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Junmyeon concedes, though the look in his eyes indicates the matter is far from dropped. “I think you’ve had a tough night. For now, why don’t we get some proper rest?”</p>
<p>Sehun’s eyebrows knit in clear trepidation at the prospect of going back to sleep. His brothers can only imagine how the notion must seem after being trapped in such a seemingly violent and horrifying nightmare. Minseok calls out from his spot on the floor by Sehun’s feet, “Sehun, do you think you’ll be alright if we’re all sleeping around you?”</p>
<p>Sehun blushes shyly then. “You don’t /all/ have to…”</p>
<p>But from the resolute set of their jaws, he sees that everyone has clearly already decided they will not be leaving his side. Jongdae and Kyungsoo go to grab pillows and blankets from the rooms which they then set up by the couch. The boys all settle into their places.</p>
<p>Sehun looks over each of his hyungs then. Yixing has pressed himself up right against the couch, his eyes open and searching Sehun over as if to keep watch over him all night. Junmyeon is not much different although positioned slightly further away; the warmth in his eyes has Sehun turning his own eyes away in embarrassment. He admittedly feels like a bit of a burden, pulling each of his tired teammates from their beds because of his episode. But the shame cannot last long before he turns to where Chanyeol and Baekhyun have huddled themselves into a nest of blankets. The two bicker quietly about hogging pillows, the muted argument bringing a smile to Sehun’s lips. He feels emotionally drained from his previous rest and still quite fragile… Yet another glance at Minseok, Jongdae, and Kyungsoo arranged around him in a semicircle, and finally, Jongin’s place at the head of the couch, his hand lazily reaching out to grab Sehun’s, helps him feel the remnants of tension and fear leave him.</p>
<p>Another small smile tugs at his lips before sleep overtakes him once again- this time, thankfully dreamless.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Sehun comes into consciousness slowly and peacefully the following morning. Sunrays from the open curtains bleed through his closed eyelids, and when he opens his eyes to greet the day, he is met with the sight of Chanyeol sitting over him. When their eyes meet, he sees Chanyeol smile. The older had seemingly just been watching him sleep. Sehun mutters out, “Creepy…,” but he allows himself to blush fondly once he turns his head, enjoying his hyung’s care.</p>
<p>Sehun turns his gaze to the rest of the members then. Although some of them have woken up, none of them have left their spot by the couch. Yixing and Junmyeon are having a muffled conversation- about what, Sehun can only guess, but he swears he heard the word “sheep” in there somewhere. They both spare an affectionate glance toward Sehun when they see him awake.</p>
<p>Kyungsoo is also already awake, and he leans over to run his hand down Sehun’s back. Baekhyun is the next to leave Dreamland, his eyes scanning the room sleepily and then alighting when they catch Sehun. He punches Sehun’s arm and smiles brightly. Sehun rubs the spot Baekhyun had hit and sticks his tongue out at the shorter man childishly.</p>
<p>Sehun stands and heads to the fridge, mindful of his still tender ankle. Perhaps a glass of juice might clear out the morning musty taste in his mouth. But no sooner has he grabbed a cup then does he feel a weight on his shoulder and arms around his middle. He makes a small noise in surprise before turning back to see his eldest hyung, Minseok, resting his head on Sehun’s shoulder. Sehun barley holds in a chuckle when he looks down and notices that the other has to stand on his tippy-toes to accomplish this gesture. </p>
<p>Finally, Jongdae and Jongin stir. They sit on either side of Sehun at the kitchen table after he fetches his juice. They say nothing, but their presence adds to the calm Sehun has felt since waking up. Despite the lingering memories of last night’s unpleasantness, Sehun feels warm.</p>
<p>…Of course, it is only a matter of time until the issue comes up again. The others give Sehun until late afternoon, biding their time in various pastimes during their rare, relaxing day off. It is then that they break his peaceful bubble of calm, a silence passing over the group just before Jongdae pipes up, “So, are you ready to talk to us now?”</p>
<p>Sehun’s expression clearly answers him in the negative, but the question had obviously been rhetorical because Sehun finds himself dragged back by the others to last night’s blanket pile, now practically a cuddle pile with how close the nine find themselves.</p>
<p>Sehun gulps past the lump in his throat. The nightmares… the terrible nightmares he gets when left alone at night are not something he cares to remember, let alone discuss. But however hard the conversation seems, he feels safe when he meets their patient gazes. “I- it’s just something I’ve dealt with for a long time. I usually don’t have to sleep alone, so it’s usually not a problem.”</p>
<p>They all look sad for him then. Yixing ponders, “How long have you been afraid to sleep alone, Sehunnie?”</p>
<p>Sehun fists his hands in the blanket on his lap. “Since I was a kid. It’s nothing new.”</p>
<p>His short answers do not discourage his teammates. Junmyeon’s stare turns even gentler somehow, and his hand bridges the gap between them to rest on Sehun’s knee. The leader says, “We want to help. Of course, we want to be here for you as much as we can- I like sleeping by your side, too. But there might be more nights where we’re apart, and we want to help you be ready for that. If we can figure out why it scares you so much, maybe we can help you face it and not feel so afraid-”</p>
<p>“It’s not gonna happen,” Sehun cuts off, harsher than he intends. “I’ve tried. The reason why it scares me- it’s not something that I can just fix or forget about.”</p>
<p>Minseok’s eyes are probing. “Then what is it?”</p>
<p>Sehun feels as if the air is thickening around him, as if he can’t draw in a breath of fresh air. His eyes water when he looks around at each of his hyungs as he feels the secret eating at his insides. As he realizes he can think of nothing else to do other than finally divulge the rotten memories inside him that trap him like a chain on his heart. The others wait silently as Sehun looks at the floor and opens his mouth only to close it again. It takes him several more tries before he’s able to force any words out of his mouth, yet when he does, his members almost wish he had never spoken at all. Of course they want him to share, they want to know what terrifies and hurts their maknae so… but actually hearing what plagues him makes them all feel sick.</p>
<p>“It’s- it’s been a problem ever since I was kid, when… when my dad would- As soon as I got my own room, several nights a week, he would come in. It was dark. No one else was awake. I never made any noise, but maybe if I had…”</p>
<p>Horrified looks overcome each of the members. Even with the sparse details Sehun has managed to choke out, some of his brothers seem to reach the correct conclusion quite quickly. Chanyeol calls out weakly, “Your dad… in your room. What did he…?” He can’t seem to finish his question.</p>
<p>Sehun’s breath catches, a sign that he is moments from crying. “He would… touch me. Get in bed with me. …Other things… I haven’t been able to handle sleeping alone since then. It makes me feel like he’s right there, about to open the door and…”</p>
<p>Several of them are crying now, and Sehun realizes he is, too. Tears spilling over, Baekhyun looks at Sehun with the most sorrow Sehun has ever seen openly displayed on someone’s face. The others' expressions are not much better. Baekhyun shuffles a little closer before asking, “Is it okay if I hug you?”</p>
<p>Sehun nods fervently, and the shorter boy throws his arms around him in near desperation, although his touch turns gentle once he has Sehun in his embrace.</p>
<p>Yixing’s eyes betray his shock, his disbelief over his dongsaeng having to go through something that terrible and frightening, and at the hands of someone he should’ve been able to trust unconditionally. Yixing scoots forward and pulls Sehun’s head into his lap, running his fingers through the other’s short hair. Through their small acts of comfort, it is as though the others express their wish that they had been there for Sehun back then, to prevent it, to offer him… well, anything other than dark rooms and terror and loneliness.</p>
<p>He sees the questions they don’t ask. He sees it in the downturn of their heads. Did he ever tell anyone? How long did this go on? Did he ever break free of his father? Sehun is glad they don’t ask, because he’s not sure he could manage to answer.</p>
<p>Chanyeol steels his gaze, trying to look as firm as he can while fighting back his tears. His voice still shakes when he resolutely stammers out, “We will… /never/… let anything like that happen to you ever again. We’re here.”</p>
<p>Jongin looks similarly haunted, but when he meets Sehun’s eyes, he just crumples and buries his face into his neck. Sehun’s hand comes up to caress Jongin’s cheek.</p>
<p>Although not right next to him, Kyungsoo and Minseok’s faces show the utmost care. They look at Sehun as if he is the most precious thing on the planet. Jongdae expresses similar feelings when he stands and kisses Sehun’s hair. Sehun looks then to Junmyeon. Junmyeon looks almost the most broken after Sehun’s confession. The maknae thinks he understands… Sehun already feels like the ground would collapse from under him if ever he heard of his members struggling with something of this magnitude on their own. Junmyeon must feel it particularly strongly as the self-appointed ‘mother’ of the group. He seems to fight past his turmoil as he joins the rest in embracing Sehun.</p>
<p>Every touch from his members, every point of contact, grounds Sehun in the present. The wonderful present. The demons from the past aren’t gone, but if he has his brothers by his side to chase away the dark, he thinks he can face forward with less trepidation. In his heart blossoms something a little like hope.</p>
<p>No one seems keen on moving. He looks back at his members, who share glances with each other as well, and everyone is huddled together in some way or another.</p>
<p>Sehun sees warmth in their eyes, surely matching his own, and they each stay like that together through the rest of their free day.</p>
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